This is the third of 4 weeks in our journey led by Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. So far we have learned: 1. Be Impeccable with your Word, and 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally. This week’s lesson is no small fry:
Here it is in a nutshell:
“We only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. We don’t perceive things the way they are. We have the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality. We literally dream things up in our imaginations. Because we don’t understand something, we make an assumption about the meaning, and when the truth comes out, the bubble of our dream pops and we find out it was not what we thought it was at all.”
“Imagine walking along the beach, and you see a person you like. That person turns to you and smiles, and then walks away. You can make a lot of assumptions just because of this one experience. With these assumptions you can create a whole fantasy. And you really want to believe this fantasy and make it real. A whole dream begins to form just from your assumptions, and you can believe, ‘Oh, this person really likes me.’ In your mind a whole relationship begins from that. Maybe you even get married in this fantasyland. But the fantasy is in your mind, in your personal dream.”
“We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking – we take it personally – then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems.”
Instead, the way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. If you don’t understand, ask. Once you hear the answer, you will not have to make assumptions because you will know the truth.
“We have to be what we are, so we don’t have to present a false image. If you love me the way I am, ‘Okay, take me.’ If you don’t love me the way I am, ‘Okay, bye-bye. Find someone else.’ It may sound harsh, but this kind of communication means the personal agreements we make with others are clear and impeccable.”
So here’s the recap: We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering. With clear communication, all of our relationships will change, not only with our partners, but with everyone else too.
What do you think about this? How do you feel when you read it? Could it be true?
You can get the full copy (and see other books by Don Miguel Ruiz) at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+four+agreements
Tiffany Manchester assists athletes, artists, and other women who want to ‘fear less’ and ‘create more’ wealth, health, and happiness in their lives. Connect with Tiffany ~ here ~ to sign up for a free strategy session!